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Just in time for the holidays, you can make your brain go "BANG!" Or even "BANG! BANG!" Or even "BANG! BANG! YOU'RE DEAD!" Make sure you bag your limit. Dedicated to our favorite shoplifter who once was a huge star. This drink will prepare you for an adventure in kleptomania. Now, what other cocktail can promise that? As for me and Santa, we believe. We believe we'll have a couple of 'em and toast old Grandma. And Rudolph, too. Inspired by Billy Bob's performance in the movie of the same name, the Bad Santa Cocktail is even more disgusting than you might have imagined. Sexiest concoction of this millenium. Takes the concept of DIY mixology to a whole new level. A very low level, indeed. More fun than squeezing the Charmin. It's not the kind of recipe you'll find in any bartender manual. Not anywhere.. A patriotic pre-version of the red, white, and blue. Known to set off fireworks prematurely. A Halloween potion of power that will makes things go bump in the night. Actually more like bumpa-bumpa-bumpa-bumpa in the night, if that's okay with you. Some serve it as... This Conservative Cocktail gives those of us who know we're right just a little more righeousness. And higher than unborn again liberal Liberatarians. Guaranteed to turn your frontal lobes into medical waste. We're not sure if that is a good thing, or not. R U dum enuff 2 find out? Start with Courvoiser over crack-vial-shaped ice-cubes in a Classic Coke glass. Crank up some beats and light up some sht. Pass the Courvoisier. Plug into a surge generator. Reboot your brain. Upgrade your ram. And hook up onto a high bandwidth trip to the outternet of sanity. Every guy needs a hot stick when he's shooting on the long green. That's pool, dude. Like pool without the water. To get your shooting eye, start with Wild Turkey 101 and some Slim Jims (the Hot ones). Then bank yourself into the corner pocket. This punch packs the power of a plethora of pachyderms. It will turn 115 pound geeks into Tarzans who can really swing. It will make you party like Chita. Can you say ooo-ooo-oooko-ook? |
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