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Wet T-ShirtIt's not the kind of recipe you'll find in any bartender manual. Not anywhere.. 
Old Glory HoleA patriotic pre-version of the red, white, and blue. Known to set off fireworks prematurely. 
Hurricane NoniThis gulf coast twister is dedicated to Noni the Intern. It will rock you like a Hurricane before you go insane. So get ready for a Big Blow. 
Witch's TitA Halloween potion of power that will makes things go bump in the night. Actually more like bumpa-bumpa-bumpa-bumpa in the night, if that's okay with you. Some serve it as... 
Limbaugh RushThis Conservative Cocktail gives those of us who know we're right just a little more righeousness. And higher than unborn again liberal Liberatarians.  Naughty NurseyRemember those childhood fantasies about the School Nurse? And those teenage fantasies about those young delectable student nurses? This drink is better. It will give you completely new fantasies — fantasies in white that only a deep exploratory will quell. 
Brain Drano Guaranteed to turn your frontal lobes into medical waste. We're not sure if that is a good thing, or not. R U dum enuff 2 find out? 
FreestyleStart with Courvoiser over crack-vial-shaped ice-cubes in a Classic Coke glass. Crank up some beats and light up some sht. Pass the Courvoisier.  Nerd WackerPlug into a surge generator. Reboot your brain. Upgrade your ram. And hook up onto a high bandwidth trip to the outternet of sanity. 
Hot StickEvery guy needs a hot stick when he's shooting on the long green. That's pool, dude. Like pool without the water. To get your shooting eye, start with Wild Turkey 101 and some Slim Jims (the Hot ones). Then bank yourself into the corner pocket. 
Pee Wee SquirtRefreshing. Invigorating. Perfect for watching Porno with a bunch of your little friends. Give it a shot! 
Watermelon ShotsIt's summer. It's watermelon. You know, like those big round melons that just sit there in the garden getting fatter and fatter. So like how dangerous can Watermelon Shots be?  Strip And Go NakedConsidering that my secret recipe calls for a six pack of cheap beer, it tastes surprisingly like Country Time lemonade. Well, it does! 
Sex On The BeachI make it with a double shot of sex, a splash of surf, four rays of sunshine, and just a pinch of sand. Bring your own blanket. Hopefully, you'll need it. 
Moon TatIt'll make you looney. A good pre-game for moon walks, moon dances, and the drive-by mooning of strangers on your way to and from your parole hearing. Show us yours, we'll show you ours. 
Jane's Jungle JuiceThis punch packs the power of a plethora of pachyderms. It will turn 115 pound geeks into Tarzans who can really swing. It will make you party like Chita. Can you say ooo-ooo-oooko-ook? 
WhipplewangerSexiest concoction of this millenium. Takes the concept of DIY mixology to a whole new level. A very low level, indeed. More fun than squeezing the Charmin. |
 
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